Well If THIS Doesn't Stop Prop 8, Nothing Can.

Checking in with today’s entertainment headlines, here are the things you Need To Know:

Michael Jackson’s father says someone should pay for his son’s death.  “Specifically, me,” said Joe. ”Someone should pay me…”

Chris Brown will tell Larry King tonight that he doesn’t remember biting and beating Rhianna.  “I do!” Rihanna chirped …

Whitney Houston performed on Good Morning America this morning.  The catch being it was pre-taped on a recent afternoon to save Whitney from having to get up so early.  ”Unless y’all want me haulin’ on a crack pipe to stay awake all night beforehand,” she snapped …

When Oprah Winfrey launches her new season, she will do so by closing down a significant section of Chicago’s Magnificent Mile, leaving many wondering just how she pulled it off. “Easy,” said Oprah.  ”I threatened the city with a Dr.Phil-Rachel-Ray-Dr.-Oz marathon …”

And The Last Word goes to … An ‘Insider’! ”Halle is overjoyed. She’s just ecstatic to be pregnant again. She wasn’t sure if she’d have another baby, so she’s very happy.”

Anyone Got An Eraser?

As I continue to get Life In Order after the Friends For Life Bike Rally, let’s catch up with our celebrity friends shall we?  Missing them!

First off, as you can see, Sharon Stone is celebrating turning 50 by flashing her titties on the cover of a magazine.  ’My clit now dangles so low they stapled it to my backside, but don’t you think the twins have held up well?’ Stone gushed …

Chris Brown has been sentenced to community service after some time in court.  ’Do the community a service and stop hitting women!’ said the judge …

Britney Spears will appear at the Teen Choice Awards.  ’Because I choose to be like a teen forever!’ she explained …

Posh Spice will replace Paula Abdul on American Idol.  Explained producers, ‘We sought someone with a similar musical talent level, of course …’

Brad Pitt said in an interview that pools are great places to have sex.  In related news Jennifer Aniston was seen digging a kidney-shaped hole in her backyard …

And The Last Word goes to …  Ferris Bueller! (Thank you, John Hughes!) ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’

Phil Spector Learns California Prisons Don't Allow Wigs.

Why, hello!  It’s been a while since we peeked into the lives of celebrities behaving badly, don’t you think?

Let’s start with Miss Carrie Prejean.  Over on GGT 2.0, Andrew Vail was all over that hot mess the minute news broke she’d been fired by Donald Trump for not fulfilling her contractual obligations. “I’m too bizzy spreading hate!” she responded …

Chris Brown has lost a bid to delay his trial. “You didn’t delay in smashing Rihanna’s face, you see,” explained the judge …

Mike Tyson has married, just two weeks after the tragic death of his four-year-old daughter.  ”Some say it’s a little soon, but my head’s been bashed in so much I have no sense of time anymore,” Tyson told friends …

Adam Lambert has come out on the cover of Rolling Stone. “Shurprishe!” he said, his mouth filled with cock …

And The Last Word goes to … an insider! “Katie Holmes is in serious talks to make a special performance on FOX’s reality competition series, So You Think You Can Dance! She’s met with Nigel Lythgoe and everyone hopes she appears on this season or next season of the show.”

Fashion Crime.

THIS, my friends, is the funniest thing I saw all day yesterday (thank you Jody!).  Check out what happens when a local developer Deena Pantalone apparently lies to Toronto Life about having designed her own dress, likely in a calculated (and sad) effort to appear on trend as a recessionista. Ahh, the power of the mouse and social media!  

Today on the show, former fab magazine editor Steven Bereznai joins us to chat about his debut novel, Queeroes.

Meanwhile, Chris Brown has said he’s no monster.  Never said you were, Chris, we just said you beat the shit out of your girlfriend …

Jessica Simpson is planning a new reality show called The Price Of Beauty.  ”‘Cause no matter how much I spend, I never get there!”

Courtney Love, meanwhile, is being sued by American Express.  ”We would prefer, here on in, if Ms. Love would leave home without it,” said the credit company …

And The Last Word goes to … Caroline Lim! ” Deena, I’m not sure what you are trying to prove, but you did not “sort of” design the dress. I, PERSONALLY designed AND made that dress. All I must say is WOWEE…talk about trying to steal credit. You should be ashamed of yourself.”