Nick Finds Out Sharon Will Survive The Crop Dusting Poisoning. See His Thumb? That's Acting.

Dear Genoa City:

I can’t stand it anymore.

Yank Phyllis out of the hot glue gun mess that are Nick and Sharon. Please.

It’s clear: Nick and Sharon are Gen-X version of Nikki and Victor, which means they will always be draw to each other and three’s a crowd, no matter who #3 is.

In this case though, #3, Phyllis, is being seriously wasted. If I have to watch her trying to keep it together as Once. Again. Nick tends to whatever ails her, I’ll choke. It’s made Phyllis a putz, and she was never a putz. I get character maturity, but if she tossed an octopus on Sharon’s bed like the good old days, I’d buy into it and probably throw a party to celebrate.

Saint Christine is coming back to Genoa City, could that be a change of focus for Phyl? Because honestly, this threesome has been Played. Out. and trust: I know what a played out threesome looks like.

Even the recent fun “arch enemies uniting to save the man they both love” factor ended up only having two episode shelf-life.  The predictable result?  A same-story-different-day scenario whereby gypsy Sharon got in trouble and has now been moved into the ranch right on top of her ex and her enemy, Nick is a dolt where his wife is concerned, Phyllis is too used to being treated like crap to notice the smell, and Zzzzzz ….

Pardon me, nodded off.  There needs to be tension and conflict for Nick and Sharon, I get it. Just find someone else. Let Red go. I can’t watch another second of Nick’s cluelessness, Sharon’s helplessness, and Phyllis being the degraded Good Wife and martyr. It’s lost it’s charm, it’s energy, it’s “we care” factor.

Please.

Lovingly,

xS

Follow me!

- Facebook
- OutTV’s The Shaun Proulx Show on Facebook!
- Twitter
- YouTube

Yep, She Hauled Out This Pic Again. Can You Blame Her?

Was pleased as punch to learn that Michelle Stafford, who plays my Y&R alter-ego Phyllis, is having a baby, via surrogate (so chic), due in December.

As you know, a year ago I myself adopted a baby, Ella, who is a red-headed she-devil.

Coincidence? I think not.

Not Very Often I Agree With What Perez Has To Say, BUT ... Can't Wait For The Recast To Show Up - A Real Actor Who WILL Kiss Another Guy!

Why hello!  Welcome to my Y&R update!  Cluck cluck!

Sharon, who barebacked at least three of Genoa City’s men in an hour and is now preggers, continues to inform people she’s been barebacking and is preggers.  Still no AIDS test, but boy was it fun to see the look on Phyllis‘ face when she walked in on Sharon telling Nick Tree the news that the devil’s spawn growing within her might be his … AT CASSIE‘S GRAVESITE. 

Jack, meanwhile continues to be a putz continues to lovingly support the open manhole wife and we can’t wait for him to find out that both he and his brother have been inside Genoa City’s blondest depository blonde, even though brother Billy’s really still in love with a woman who could put a meth head to sleep with Mackenzie.  This insipid sight, of course, is worse than looking at last year’s hemline for stylista Chloe (who really does always look terrific), and so she does what we’ve all done in similar situations: paints their home a brighter shade of pink which never works, trust me and makes morning love with her wayward husband.  No fool, and practically smelling Sharon on him Chloe makes Billy wear a condom, wishing she had two for him to put on …

But no need to worry, because in Darfur Mackenzie had a love affair with another man, who shows up at Katherine’s Memorial Day BBQ: none other than the return of another boring Y&R character; bring back Brittany! Raul.  “Let’s find Nick and make a forest!” Mackenzie suggests to Raul, and they skip trudge off …

Paul, still the worst detective you could think of hiring, can’t put his finger on the fact Mary Jo Benson is really his sister, Patti.  Something about those eyes, that laugh, he tells her over drinks where she is (seriously) wearing massive sunglasses (smooth) to throw him off the trail.  It being Paul, it works. 

Meanwhile at the creepy Newman Ranch, we watch as everyone leans to Ashley being crazy over any other possible solution to the creepy going ons that have been going on.  We ask why it is Sharon can steal, exhibit multiple personalities, sleep with everyone in town and clearly be losing her mind and NO ONE even as much as gets her an Ativan, but here’s the normally sturdy Ashely being booked in for a head exam.  Our TV doesn’t respond.

Where a gay kiss is about to be worked into this whole mess, is anyone’s guess. 

And The Last Word goes to Katherine!  “I’ve got to go check on Murphy at the pool.  I have no idea if the man can swim.”

With Sugar Cane. (Or Is He?)

Hey, it looks like Vanessa Williams is coming on the show in a few days. Stay tuned for deets!

Meanwhile: Well.  Slap my ass and call me Sally. Here I was thinking I have completely fallen out of lust for Cane, what with him having become so sugary with this whole horrific idea that he and Lily are a great couple marriage to Lily, when doesn’t he say his vows with the “model”, and then have a quick flashback to that phone call we ALL remember he made ages ago where he revealed he was clearly up to no good?

TURNS OUT HE WAS TALKING TO PHILLIP! The dead one! No, the second dead one! From drunk driving.  No, the dead one from second drunk driving! Who turned out not to be Jill’s son, but Cane was.  

Or is he?  Suddenly Sugar Cane just got a lot tastier.

Meanwhile across town, just as I’m thinking to myself how WELL Adam is looking, how robust, how well- worked out he appeares, doesn’t everyone at The Genoa City Prison For Wayward Bastard Children the Newman Ranch start telling him the exact opposite!  Like, Ethiopia, the way they’re carrying on.  

And I guess they know better than me, sitting at home, ’cause suddenly he’s lost enough weight to slip the Martha Stewart ankle bracelet (a popular blue light special item at K-Mart) off and go anywhere he wants, and it’s here we learn he is behind the motiveless torturing of Ashley, who, BTW, everyone has quickly dismissed as nuts without much prompting, so plan working!  

We also learn Adam isn’t really blind, but, instead, is injecting something into his eyes which we don’t particularly enjoy watching ’cause suddenly we want to call our dealer only don’t have that kind of time in our life anymore.

Jill, Gloria and Jeffrey learn they have lost all their money thanks to Victor Newman … Paul proposes another round of VD marriage to Nikki … Sharon continues to behave like a skittish cat her descent into madness, clinging to Tree Nick for dear life as Phyllis tries to pry her fingers off her husband with everything she’s got.  Alas, Mary Jane Benson Patti Williams isn’t helping much, hellbent on keeping Sharon with Nick so she stands a chance at Jack …  Nina comes to town to propose writing a screenplay version of Katherine’s memoirs, as all of Hollywood is apparently very interested. “Angelina Jolie is dying to play you!” Nina tells the duchess … Daniel becomes an art spy for the FBI …

And The Last Word goes to … A phone call for Ashley, courtesy of Adam’s mad braille computer skills! “This is Sabrina.   Death is coming.  This is Sabrina.  Alone.  It is a cruel death.  Terrifying.  Next.  It is hopeless. There is no escape.  Next.”

Soaps.com's Christine Fix And I Rushed To Jack's Side On The Weekend To Convince Him Not To Get Back Together With Bimbo.

Child!  What a week in Genoa City, where things continue to get curiouser and curiouser.  Jill, devastated by the revelation that Kay is not her mother, pours salt on her own wound by moving back into the mansion.  She tries to spoil a dinner Kay is having with the Wisconsin governor, whom Kay is wining and dining in order to obtain Kevin’s inevitable pardon for that whole awful chipmunk storyline robbing banks while under psychotic duress.  However, the new Mr. C, Murphy, wearing a hat covered in wobbly fishing lures, holds up the evening’s main course: two giant Wisconsin catfish, the governor’s fave.  Jill runs from the room, wishing she had quit the show after all screaming …

The wedding issue of Restless Style continues to come together in a way that would make Anna Wintour shit her pants laughing proud.  Chloe gets the great idea to photograph Cane and Lily at their orange-hued home for the magazine.  ”The world cannot get enough of the people in this city!” she declares.  A photoshoot ensues.

Our new favourite character (after Phyllis), Patti Williams Mary Jane Benson, skulks after Jack under the guise of being a “PR virtuoso”, but nearly cracks her own head open with rage whenever she sees Sharon toying with the Jabot exec.  Which is often, as Jack has decided the three-headed hydra baby within her is his (BAD idea) and that they should therefore get together again.  Sharon (BAD idea) concurs.

Speaking of which, as expected, no one who knows Sharon has barebacked three different guys so far this spring – one of whom is Billy, who only this week was described by Chloe as having “slept with countless women” – has made the suggestion: “AIDS test?”, probably because as we all know, straight people don’t get AIDS that’s not the direction the writers wish to go.  But we wonder if this would be the case if Raf, the only gay in the village, suddenly had such an active sex life as we all know, AIDS is about the gays, but we digress.

Let’s see, who else is worth talking about?  Oh!  We’re enjoying the storyline of the spooky Newman ranch, where someone is messing with Ashley’s mind, planting evidence that the ghost of Sabrina is alive and well, if only via memerobillia.  Could it be Estella, the employee who we’re told has worked there for years and never liked Ashley even though we’ve never seen her in our decades of watching the show?  Or is it Adam, who surely is faking his blindness.  It seems like he’s the likely suspect, the catch is – how could he mastermind all this given he’s got a Martha Stewart accessory  ankle bracelet monitoring his every move?

Oh, and we dug the face cream civil suit trial of Gloria, and the monologues on the witness stand pitting her and Ashley against one another, and we dug that Gloria lost and will now have to pay something back. Oh, and Cassie made an appearance in a dream of Sharon’s and it’s nice to see that even in heaven puberty happens her. Oh, and Heather thought it was a smart move to traipse around the house of the man she’s been trying to put behind bars since she came on the show in nothing but his son’s white shirt, but she’s not so brazen when that same man comes into Adam’s room where they have been making ugly love, and so hides in a closet where we wish she’d stay.  Oh, and Nick Tree went back to Newman to work for his father. 

And The Last Word goes to … Ashley! “Gloria you are nothing but a gold-digging narsissitic delusional bitch who manages to kill every man she’s ever been married to!”

Would You Take A Look At The Shiteous Rush Job Done On Decorating The Bannister For Billionaire Katherine Chancellor's Wedding!!!

First things, first!  I’m excited about today’s show!  A few weeks ago I got the nicest letter from a listener named Deborah, who loves the show. She wrote:

“… The other reason I like you is my son has been called “GAY”and “FAT” since he was 4 years old. And not in a good way gay or fat. He’s had a really really hard time but in the last two years – he’s 13 now – 5′ 11″ and size 13 shoe – he’s finally feeling okay about himself. He is at an alternative art school and felt comfortable enough to come out last year. He did say to me this year he likes some grade 7 girls so he may not be gay and I keep telling him it’s okay, he may know, he may not……….and it doesn’t matter when you are an adult. He’s getting more and more confident as time goes on and whatever he figures out he is I’m cool with it and I want him to be cool with it! So thank you! You help him and you help me…………”

We’ve been chatting back and forth since, because her son and his friend were recently part of a school presentation on heroes and heroines, with each lad picking someone and speaking about them. Harvey Milk and local icon Reverend Brent Hawkes were the two heroes these guys chose and today they are coming to the studio today to tell us why.  How great is that that kids are choosing queers as their heroes?

So this morning I’m out for a run through the Rosedale ravine with my dog, Ella, when we suddenly get stopped by police and yellow tape. Dead body.  

Meanwhile, in Genoa City, where such happenings are all part of a day, there seems to be a new hairstylist in town.  Tyra now sports a chocolate brown weave, and Mackenzie has a mane full of extensions.  (Sorry girls, it’ll take more than fake hair to like you!).  Early in the week at Restless Style, the international magazine that only covers Genoa City, it is decided a wedding issue is next. By Friday there is a mock-up. How, we’re not sure, as early in the week Phyllis is arrested for vandalizing Sharon’s room.  But by Friday she is out on the streets and on deadline and she and Nick are celebrating their anniversary. Phyllis buys Nick (whom we think we’ll start calling Tree) bed sheets with a 1500 thread-count.  ”Nice, but you still don’t have Sharon’s vagine,” he tells her. Tree has made for Phylllis a big Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card and gets her some hospital bed type of bouquet (not making any of this up, no need to these days!) …  

Hot rumour!  We have been guessing that Mary Jane Benson is really Mary Jo Mason BUT now we change our bet (based on Christine Fix from Soaps.com’s inner knowledge) to …

… Patti Williams!  I know!  Aaack!  Remember she shot Jack (played by the late Terry Lester at the time) and left town all nutty?  Seems the writers could be playing with our heads and it was just this Friday when Mary Jane ran into (her brother?) Paul at Katherine’s wedding to Murphy and then went a little … odd … upon seeing him.  But not as odd as the final scene that day, where Jill, drunk out of her skull, shows up at the Chancellor Estate to bulldoze the wedding, only to be stopped by yet ANOTHER blast from the past: Nina!

Yes!  Nina is back!  Patti?  Nina?  I feel like a teen again!  Oh, and Sharon is preggers.  Whose the baby daddy?  Jack? His brother Billy?  Tree?  (Now go get an AIDS test while you’re at it, woman!  A gay man would certainly be forced to if he’d been unsafe with three guys in a row!).  Lastly, Ashley celebrates her birthday with Victor, putting on a dress she finds laid out for her on her bed, going down to show it off for the billionaire beau who presumably put it there.  However, it turns out it’s a replica of the dress Sabrina wore when she died.  Hate it when that happens. Victor goes ballistic and we wonder who it is that is messing with Ash: Estella?  ”Blind” Adam?  What we really are curious about is why Ashley is being messed with and not going: “Who the fuck is messing with me?” instead of all fragile like a china doll, automatically assuming she’s losing her mind.  But we believe, we believe …

And The Last Word goes to … Phyllis!  ”A get-out-of-jail-free card.  I guess because I was arrested. Right?”