Nick Finds Out Sharon Will Survive The Crop Dusting Poisoning. See His Thumb? That's Acting.

Dear Genoa City:

I can’t stand it anymore.

Yank Phyllis out of the hot glue gun mess that are Nick and Sharon. Please.

It’s clear: Nick and Sharon are Gen-X version of Nikki and Victor, which means they will always be draw to each other and three’s a crowd, no matter who #3 is.

In this case though, #3, Phyllis, is being seriously wasted. If I have to watch her trying to keep it together as Once. Again. Nick tends to whatever ails her, I’ll choke. It’s made Phyllis a putz, and she was never a putz. I get character maturity, but if she tossed an octopus on Sharon’s bed like the good old days, I’d buy into it and probably throw a party to celebrate.

Saint Christine is coming back to Genoa City, could that be a change of focus for Phyl? Because honestly, this threesome has been Played. Out. and trust: I know what a played out threesome looks like.

Even the recent fun “arch enemies uniting to save the man they both love” factor ended up only having two episode shelf-life.  The predictable result?  A same-story-different-day scenario whereby gypsy Sharon got in trouble and has now been moved into the ranch right on top of her ex and her enemy, Nick is a dolt where his wife is concerned, Phyllis is too used to being treated like crap to notice the smell, and Zzzzzz ….

Pardon me, nodded off.  There needs to be tension and conflict for Nick and Sharon, I get it. Just find someone else. Let Red go. I can’t watch another second of Nick’s cluelessness, Sharon’s helplessness, and Phyllis being the degraded Good Wife and martyr. It’s lost it’s charm, it’s energy, it’s “we care” factor.

Please.

Lovingly,

xS

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Happy Monday indeed!

First off, the sweet relief of it all that Victor Newman is NOT leaving Genoa City!  Palpable!  News out this morning that Eric Braeden has signed a new contract – apparently (according to my sources) the entire haggling was merely over having a fluffer on set.

Of course it only gets better as we move to nighttime TV.  Slowly we’re getting over the idea that Ashley Simpson-Wentz has been fired from Melrose Place (she was so good at quirky-dangerous that we forgave the Saturday Night Live lip synching lie!), because in the end, who cares anyway?  Heather Locklear’s back next month!

Over in the land of radio, look who’s coming on mah show this week: Tegan & Sara, d’bi young (both today), GGT blogger David Ivey (only one of the best writers I’ve read in ages) and goddess Molly Johnson on Wednesday!  Aaack!  On the TV version of the show we’ve got a Halloween spooky episode lined up for Thursday night: Elvira, Mistress of The Dark is our special guest.  And then, because it’s never too early for Christmas (yes it is) The Rockettes drop by the studio in little velvet Santa outfits to teach me how to do a high kick.

Life. Is. Good.

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Not Very Often I Agree With What Perez Has To Say, BUT ... Can't Wait For The Recast To Show Up - A Real Actor Who WILL Kiss Another Guy!

Why hello!  Welcome to my Y&R update!  Cluck cluck!

Sharon, who barebacked at least three of Genoa City’s men in an hour and is now preggers, continues to inform people she’s been barebacking and is preggers.  Still no AIDS test, but boy was it fun to see the look on Phyllis‘ face when she walked in on Sharon telling Nick Tree the news that the devil’s spawn growing within her might be his … AT CASSIE‘S GRAVESITE. 

Jack, meanwhile continues to be a putz continues to lovingly support the open manhole wife and we can’t wait for him to find out that both he and his brother have been inside Genoa City’s blondest depository blonde, even though brother Billy’s really still in love with a woman who could put a meth head to sleep with Mackenzie.  This insipid sight, of course, is worse than looking at last year’s hemline for stylista Chloe (who really does always look terrific), and so she does what we’ve all done in similar situations: paints their home a brighter shade of pink which never works, trust me and makes morning love with her wayward husband.  No fool, and practically smelling Sharon on him Chloe makes Billy wear a condom, wishing she had two for him to put on …

But no need to worry, because in Darfur Mackenzie had a love affair with another man, who shows up at Katherine’s Memorial Day BBQ: none other than the return of another boring Y&R character; bring back Brittany! Raul.  “Let’s find Nick and make a forest!” Mackenzie suggests to Raul, and they skip trudge off …

Paul, still the worst detective you could think of hiring, can’t put his finger on the fact Mary Jo Benson is really his sister, Patti.  Something about those eyes, that laugh, he tells her over drinks where she is (seriously) wearing massive sunglasses (smooth) to throw him off the trail.  It being Paul, it works. 

Meanwhile at the creepy Newman Ranch, we watch as everyone leans to Ashley being crazy over any other possible solution to the creepy going ons that have been going on.  We ask why it is Sharon can steal, exhibit multiple personalities, sleep with everyone in town and clearly be losing her mind and NO ONE even as much as gets her an Ativan, but here’s the normally sturdy Ashely being booked in for a head exam.  Our TV doesn’t respond.

Where a gay kiss is about to be worked into this whole mess, is anyone’s guess. 

And The Last Word goes to Katherine!  “I’ve got to go check on Murphy at the pool.  I have no idea if the man can swim.”

Graphic: Barry Waite.

So did you hear the big news off the set of Y&R?  Chris Engan, who plays Victor’s bastard son Adam, abruptly quit and has been immediately replaced.  Rumour has it the Catholic refused to do the show’s first gay kiss with the newly introduced town ‘mo, Raf, nephew of the Newman staffer, Estella. If that’s the truth, Engan’s not much of an actor, but an excellent Catholic.

Then there’s Corbin Bernsen, real-life son of Jeanne “Katherine” Cooper. He has just joined the cast playing a long-running character’s brother. Click here for deets!

Today on the show Christine Fix from Soaps.com will join us as she does each Friday, so I’m sure we’ll touch on all of this.  

And Happy Birthday Joan Collins!  The lady I love to love forever and ever amen celebrates tomorrow and so we’re celebrating today all through the show.  Why?  Because we CAN.

Meanwhile, this coming Pride Sunday, Katy Perry will play the Amphitheatre down by the lake.  Seems like she didn’t like that girl kiss so much after all …

Sean Penn has withdrawn his petition to divorce Robin Wright.  In related news, Oh For Pete’s Sake, Dude, You’re Just Not Into Her! hits bookshelves next week, dedicated to Penn …

Sarah Jessica Parker is said to be getting motherly over the surrogate carrying her twins.  ”If you think that’s suffocating, try working with her!” said Kim Cattrall …

And The Last Word goes to … A Facebook “friend”! “I guess (when) Shaun talks about his shags it’s ok. When somebody else (does) it’s a problem ??”

Bonus Last Word goes to … Me!  ”Only if they’re talking about their straight shags.”