A Cocker Spaniel’s life span is between 13-15 years of age, and when the day came that Ella turned 13 I felt ripped off. I couldn’t believe her whole life had gone by, we just got started.

My time together with this unique dog – a rescue so damaged from abuse when I got her at 6 months old that you couldn’t touch her without being bitten – had seemingly flown by. 

I dreaded her end of life.

But I made a decision that was so powerful it changed the remaining time I had with her. I decided that for whatever time was left, I was going to milk the eff out of it. Ella would know the most love she’d ever known; whatever made her happy she could have, my attention would be fully on her, I would be engaged and observant and participatory at all times. Not that I wasn’t those things normally, but you get used to someone being around you and take it for granted often.  

Now I was dialing it up.

We went through a lot of potato chips after that. Ella licked every plate clean from every meal I had (I know that’s gross, don’t @ me) and I broke rules tossing bits of food down for her as I ate my dinner, or fed them to her by hand. If there was a car ride to be had, she was in, hanging out the window, wind in her curly blonde hair. During my morning coffee I’d pick her up and sit her on my lap and tell her she was the best dog ever made; licks all over my face came in response, and she’d put her head on my chest and sigh.

She was with me wherever I went. 

I just delighted in her. I drank her in. I noticed and appreciated her curiosity, the tilt of her head, the little lady waddle of her bum when she walked. And those emotion-filled eyes.

Her sleeps grew deeper and longer as she aged. She no longer woke up the moment I moved. So I’d wake her up, every morning, with “a thousand kisses,” as I’d call them, face, temple, forehead, and she’d roll over and enjoy a belly rub as she came to; at night she was given the same affection before we went to sleep. 

Bitch was loved and appreciated hardcore.

Soon she was 14. I couldn’t believe our good fortune to still be together; our rituals continued. But as time passed, my awareness of it slipping away increased. At night I’d place one hand on her when we went off to sleep, so that, in case for some reason she ever passed while in slumber, she would leave having my touch on her. Sounds morbid, maybe, but I was doing everything I could think of for Ella to know my deep love.

In January this year Ella turned 15. As much as I had spent time focused on loving her as hard as I knew how, I also had balanced that out by bracing myself for the inevitable, as painful as it was to even contemplate. If I didn’t, and her time came, I’m not sure I could have coped. I have never loved anyone or anything as much as I loved that little girl. She was my kid.

By the new year, Ella was slowing down. Her hearing went and we turned to hand signals to communicate, which my clever girl picked up on instantly. She had dislocated a knee in the summer and while it had mended, she walked super slow now, and wasn’t keen to go out for walks the way she had most of her life. I didn’t want her jumping off furniture or climbing stairs and risk hurting herself again, so became her “Ella-vator” (get it?) carrying or lifting her when needed.

On Good Friday, Ella passed. It happened so fast. She had been fine all day, normal. I’d taken her for an evening walk, and we hung out on my bed together. When I went to pick her up after an hour, she was limp. I raced her to an emergency vet where I learned she was in critical condition with suspected heart failure. I made the decision to put her down and held her in my arms kissing her non-stop as she passed. 

It was the worst night of my life.

I can’t say I have known a grief like that which I have felt and feel in the days and few months gone by.

But what I am so grateful for is how very much I milked the fuck out of the last two years with her. I was so focused, so engaged, so paying attention. I took more delight in Ella in the final two years we had together than I did the thirteen that preceded them.

And it took the love we shared deeper than I thought it could go.

Raising a dog who came from brutal abuse was epic and packed with lessons. Lessons about trust, love, healing, and the power of saying yes to it all when it seems at first impossible.

But the final lesson Ella gave me is how we are each powerful focusing mechanisms. And because what we focus on expands, my life and my relationship with that blessed beast was enriched and enhanced and filled with love beyond my fondest dreams because of my focus. By appreciating her, by choosing to love her harder, by zeroing in on making the most of every day together, I – we – reaped the mighty benefit of joy and happiness more than we would have had I not made the decision to devote my focus to her.

I think in this mad world we live in right now it’s so very easy to get distracted, to have snowballing thoughts carry us away, to sweat everything, to take for granted the things around us. To not focus in on that – and those – we love so deeply.

My beloved Ella taught me in our final time together that it doesn’t have to be that way. And that living in the now in full appreciation is a choice that is ours to make, all day, every day, about the people and things we love and what matters most to us.

The post The Final Lesson Ella Taught Me appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

We debunk some of the most common food myths going with a nutrition expert. Then things take a racy, naughty turn when we welcome to the show two enfants terribles from the international art world. Provocateur filmmaker Bruce La Bruce — he’s been banned in Australia, feted in Italy, and has a new film out now. Ball-busting playwright Brad Fraser’s new memoir about his wild ride in the global theatre world and in life is “All The Rage.”

Episode Notes

• Nicollette Pace debunks 5 big food myths.
• Controversial filmmaker Bruce La Bruce’s new film Saint-Narcisseexplores narcissism and (tw)incest.
• Theatre legend Brad Fraser opens up his life’s journey from growing up dirt poor to becoming a global theatre sensation in his new memoir, All The Rage.

Show Guests

• Bruce La Bruce
• Brad Fraser
• Nicollette Pace

The post 5 Food Myths Busted; Provocateur Bruce La Bruce on his shocking new film; theatre bad boy Brad Fraser’s new memoir is All The Rage. appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

Join guests Jason C, Mic Carter, Simon Rayek, and Jann Coppen on this week’s episode of The Shaun Proulx Show.

Episode Notes

• Jason C. and his partner launched a lawsuit against their gay son’s school that actively participated in the cruel bullying against him.
• Fashion lecturer and entrepreneur Mic Carter shares his non-binary clothing line – is this the future of fashion?
• Simon Rayek on new support for people 2-3x more likely to experience mental health issues.
• Jann Coppen introduces us to something magical: The Lumispa, a facial cleansing device that’s making skin better for countless people around the world.

The post Parents Sue Bullying School; Non-Binary Fashion; Mental Health Support; Magical Lumispa appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

Join guests Kass Falvo, Dr. Carole Leiberman, Sammi Wunder, and Yaw Attuah on this week’s episode of The Shaun Proulx Show.

Episode Notes

• Kass Falvo on how you can help your local pub win $25,000.
• Dr. Carole Leiberman on the friendship recession for men.
• Comic Yaw Attuah brings his experiences working as a black man in advertising and the arts to the stage.
• Dating expert Sammi Wunder talks about how “rotational dating” is empowering women everywhere.

The post Help Your Local Bar Win $25k; Male Friendship Recession; Comic Yaw Attuah; Rotational Dating appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

Join guests Simone Denny, Travis Salway, and Priyanka on this week’s episode of The Shaun Proulx Show.

Episode Notes

• Love, Inc. superstar Simone Denny joins Shaun to share on their new weekly Instagram Live show, The Take!
• Alarming new data on conversion therapy suggests more Canadians have been put through conversion therapy than we knew.
• Special guest Priyanka, the winner of Canada’s Drag Race, talks about her new single, and life after her big win.

The post Simone Denny and The Take! New Data On Conversion Therapy & Canada’s Drag Race Winner Priyanka appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

Join guests Dr. Carole Leiberman, Chris Draenos, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor on this week’s episode of The Shaun Proulx Show.

Episode Notes

• Are those who BS us smarter than us?
• 9,000 Canadians don’t know they are HIV-positive.
• Viral Ted Talks legend Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor on PTSD and how to manage it.

The post Are Bullshitters Smarter? Nat’l HIV Testing Day; Brain Scientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor On PTSD appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

Join guests Vex King, Louisa Jewell, Laura Tamblyn Watts, and Andy Burns on this week’s episode of The Shaun Proulx Show.

Episode Notes

• #1 Bestselling Author Vex King shares simple techniques to help with mental health during Covid times
• The new Audible podcast that shares the journeys of several people using positive psychology
• Elder abuse reports have soared during the pandemic
• We go behind the scenes of the making of Stephen King’s, The Stand.

The post Healing Is The New High; The Awesome Project; Elder Abuse Epidemic; Behind The Scenes of The Stand appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

The new summer read that takes you behind the scenes of broadcasting (yikes!) circa the 1980s (double-yikes!)

Meet the 17-year old behind the hot streetwear brand Oofii!

Legend Norma Kamali shares the wisdom of 75 years of living in her new book, “I Am Invincible.” 

Show Guests

• Margot Martin
• Tyrell James Harris
• Norma Kamali

The post Behind The Scenes In Broadcasting; The 17-Year Old Streetwear Entrepreneur; Fashion Legend, Norma Kamali appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

#SummerOfYes is back!

• If You’re Not Drinking Georgian Bay Spirits – You’re Missing Out!
• A 12-Year Old Chef From TV’s “Junior Chef Showdown” Shares His Cheese Secrets!
• One Of Canada’s Top Mixologists Teaches How To Make The Perfect Caesar – Canada’s National Drink!

Show Guests

• Dan Trepanier
• Billy Killin
• Victor Chow
• Tim Keenleyside

The post We Kick Off Summer 2021! appeared first on Shaun Proulx.

• House music performer and label boss Melleny Melody looks back at 25 years helming Play Records, who first signed Deadmau5.
• What happens to our mental health when Instagram and Facebook stop showing “likes” on posts?
• America is the only country to hyphenate citizens by ethnicity before nationality – and there’s a cost to that. 

Show Guests

• Melleny Melody
• Dr. Carole Leiberman
• Nicole Draffen

The post Celebrating a House Music Legend; Social Media and Mental Health; America as a Hyphened-Nation appeared first on Shaun Proulx.