Phil Spector Learns California Prisons Don't Allow Wigs.

Why, hello!  It’s been a while since we peeked into the lives of celebrities behaving badly, don’t you think?

Let’s start with Miss Carrie Prejean.  Over on GGT 2.0, Andrew Vail was all over that hot mess the minute news broke she’d been fired by Donald Trump for not fulfilling her contractual obligations. “I’m too bizzy spreading hate!” she responded …

Chris Brown has lost a bid to delay his trial. “You didn’t delay in smashing Rihanna’s face, you see,” explained the judge …

Mike Tyson has married, just two weeks after the tragic death of his four-year-old daughter.  ”Some say it’s a little soon, but my head’s been bashed in so much I have no sense of time anymore,” Tyson told friends …

Adam Lambert has come out on the cover of Rolling Stone. “Shurprishe!” he said, his mouth filled with cock …

And The Last Word goes to … an insider! “Katie Holmes is in serious talks to make a special performance on FOX’s reality competition series, So You Think You Can Dance! She’s met with Nigel Lythgoe and everyone hopes she appears on this season or next season of the show.”

Patrick + I At An OUT TV Bash Last Night At Panorama. (You Can Check Out His New Blog @ The Re-Booted GayGuideToronto.com;)

A good raining mornin’ to you!

I love me a wet one!  So a little news: The Shaun Proulx Show is heading to OUT TV this year.  Think à la Howard Stern, only no one will be pulling carrots out of dwarfs assholes with their teeth to try and win a boob job.  (Except maybe Wigmore.) Cameras have been set up in studio, we’ll be doing some stuff outside the confines of the show, too, and it all starts shooting after the long weekend, to start airing before year-end.  

When I left finance I took a massive piece of heavy paper and wrote and doodled over the whole damn thing everything I dreamed of seeing for myself as I embarked on a new career from ground zero and with no idea how I’d get from there to here.  So to share with you today this latest development means an awful lot when I remember back sitting in my home office in Leslieville (the home I’d soon sell to allow me to pursue this) wondering WTF.  Stay tuned for more details!

Speaking of the show, today we’re chatting with the GM of MySpace Canada.  I wonder if I can get him to even say the words ‘Twitter’ and ‘Facebook’!

Meanwhile, a Farrah Fawcett video diary shows her shaving her own head.  ”I just want one last comeback!” she declared, reaching for her umbrella and heading for the nearest parking lot …

Police responded to a tripped alarm at Lindsay Lohan’s house Tuesday afternoon, and found the home ransacked, with pry marks in the back door and a window that appeared to be tampered with.  ”It’s okay!” Lohan assured them.  ”I lost my keys and am a bit of a slob is all!”

In the beauty pageant world, no insiders can understand how it is Donald Trump has allowed Carrie Prejean to keep her crown after the nude photos have surfaced.  ”It’s not that hard to figure out!” Prejean mumbled, sucking Trump’s dick like a straw …

And The Last Word goes to … Mitch Winehouse! “For my daughter it’s alcohol instead of hard drugs now.”

Trend Alert! Watch For Yarn Bombing As Guerrilla Knitting Goes Global On Trees And Poles Near You. Finally, Something To Do With All Those Unfinished Knitting Projects!

OMG what a completely batty show yesterday – off the friggen rails thanks to MAHA, our first contestant in our week-long Shaun Proulx Show’s Next Top Intern competition.  I have to say, given that he had all day to work at the station and complete his challenges in time for the show, he managed to do very well despite arriving just 80 minutes ahead of 3 pm.  One of the six challenges for our contestants includes booking a hot guest and he snagged Divine Brown, which was impressive.  But that bugger is one crackerjack and man did he ever piss Wigmore off with his insinuations that Mark worked for HIM.  Child!  (We’ll see if today’s contestant, Caleb, has what it takes.)

Then of course Rue McClanahan called in to talk about Bea Arthur.  She had also called in when Estelle Getty died last year, so it felt a little morbid, but what can you do.  She graciously shared her thoughts about Arthur, her talent and her friendship, as well as what she’ll remember the legend for (keep reading).  

Meanwhile, Farrah Fawcett’s jailed son was allowed out for a deathbed hospital visit with the former Charlie’s Angel this past weekend.  ”You make me so proud,” she wheezed …

It is also being reported that Joan and Melissa Rivers had a meltdown on Celebrity Apprentice.  ”Like, literally, a meltdown,” said Donald Trump.  ”The lighting was so hot their faces looked like candles …”

Snoop Dogg, on trial for assaulting a fan, is insisting he did not strike anyone.  ”My knuckle-duster, on the other hand,” Dogg testified.  ”That is what should be on trial here …”

The ratings are in and Barbara Streisand’s much-promoted, much-anticipated TV concert special bombed Saturday night.  The special attracted a paltry 4.9 million viewers.  In related news, Streisand was spotted headed towards a car with her head shaved, waving an umbrella …

And The Last Word goes to … Rue McClanahan!  ”I will always remember Bea for taking care of me the Thanksgiving my mother had died.  The funeral was in Oklahoma and I came back to California Thanksgiving day.  And I was very despondent, very very grief stricken, I hadn’t really had much sleep for the past six days.  I called Bea, and she said they were just finishing up Thanksgiving dinner and she wanted me to get over there right away.  So I did.  I went to her house and she put me in the guest room and she tucked me into bed, she gave me some Thanksgiving dinner to have.  She mothered me, and took care of me in a time of great need, and I went to sleep.  I had some peace for the first time.”  

All The Words I Wrote Before.

Let’s start with a wee announcement: I’ve given up Cocktail Confessions, the social scene column I’ve written for Xtra! for I’m-not-sure-how-many years now.  Ages before I took over writing the long-running feature, it was my favourite read in each new issue, so to have been able to put my own stamp on it along the way been nine blasts.  But there are only so many years one can cover the local scene and now it’s time to let someone else do it.  I’m excited by the names I know are being considered. My last Confessions appear next month, with a brand new column under my own name in Xtra! starting right after.  Think along the lines of what I’ve been writing about lately, minus the event coverage.

Meanwhile, learned over the weekend that my pal Kenny Lee, the enfant terrible photographer, is having a one man exhibit this April at La Petite Mort gallery in Ottawa.  We’ve done some creative stuff together (I won’t soon forget washing peanut butter out of my hair at 4 a.m. in his shower as he snapped away – oddly  getting some hot shots!) One pic that I love (above) is going to be the centre piece of the exhibit.  That same night as the peanut butter incident we took a massive canvas and I wrote out words and phrases from the last decade of my writing.  Kenny shot it, then inserted some shots taken later that night of me into all the words.  I’m planning for it to be a book cover for a project he and I are working on together this year, but meanwhile, it’s fun to know your words are being blown up all huge for an exhibit.  Don’t bring Granny!

Meanwhile …

Trump Entertainment has filed for bankruptcy.  ”Although many would say Donald Trump as an entertainer has always been a bankrupt affair,” trustees noted …

Justin Timberlake has been named the “Most Stylish Man In America”.  ”Which tells you once more all you need to know about America!” commented the rest of the World …

The Madonna-Guy divorce proceedings continue to make headlines. A custody agreement states which French language schools the kids will attend, requires Ritchie to have a computer system that allows Internet dialogue, and requires that Ritchie assure the children’s Jewish religious education.  ”Oy, I wish I’d never met la patasse!” typed Richie on his new computer …

And The Last Word goes to … Kanye West! ”I’m so secure with my manhood. And that’s the reason why I can go to Paris, why I can have conversations with people who are blatantly gay. ‘Cause I used to be scared to talk to a gay person.”