#ThoughtRevlution Begins :: Full HIV Disclosure

HIV DISCLOSURE :: In 2005 I tested positive for the virus that can cause AIDS; my doctor estimated I’d been infected around 1999.

I made the decision to keep this information private, with the exception of intimate relationships. Given my public career, I wanted to avoid the label of “HIV-positive media guy”; even my mother, brothers, family and best friends didn’t know my status.

But over time, things you keep private can begin to bear the weight of a secret. As my team and I spent this summer working on the AIDS Walk, I began to realize that if I shared my story instead of keeping it to myself, I could help others understand something valuable that I have grown to know deeply:

It’s okay – whatever happened to you.>Tweet this!

Whatever has happened to you, you are not wrong, or less, or bad or in need of forgiving.

I am not wrong or less or bad, just because I became infected with HIV. >Tweet this!

I became infected because I’m human, and HIV infection is what can happen to humans in this time we live in.

I wasn’t “stupid”, I wasn’t “careless”, I wasn’t “bad” or “guilty” in having unprotected sex. I am human, with the same powerful force of nature operating within me that all humans have. I wanted freedom and pleasure at its purest, as I think everyone who has ever had sex with another always deeply, truly prefers.

It’s not that I should have “known better” or “done better”. I knew I should have used condoms, and doubtlessly he did too. We didn’t. Perhaps I was drunk, perhaps I was not.

Perhaps I was high, perhaps I was not. Perhaps I was in love, or lust, perhaps I was lonely, perhaps I was feeling amazing, or perhaps I was feeling an F-U after so many exhausting years of being religious about wearing condoms. Whatever the scenario was – because it wasn’t just once and I don’t know who infected me – whatever the scenario was, I was only being human.

We don’t talk about that enough when it comes to HIV/AIDS: the deeply personal humanity that is part of the individuality behind how and why this virus gets spread.

And we definitely don’t talk enough about how harshly we judge ourselves and others, just for being human.

I’d like to change that, starting with my HIV disclosure. I’d like to start broad conversation about truly eliminating the stigma and judgement that still runs deep between us all, all because of what has happened to us. I’d like to spark discussion that causes us to consider the ways in which all of us continue to treat one another day-by-day.

Whether it’s HIV, mental illness, body fascism, classism, ageism, racism – in the end, we are still all just human beings, being human.

My HIV disclosure today was my way of loudly declaring that I am okay – and that you are okay – no matter what happened or is happening to us.

Whatever our stories, we are magnificent, powerful beyond measure and capable of being, doing and having everything within our fondest dreams.

This I know for sure, because I lead such a life myself, despite what happened to me, along my human journey.

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